Finance Board

What you say and do about money has a profound influence on your child. There are money moments every day that you can use to teach your children important skills and lessons about life. But what to say or do isn’t always obvious. Is it a good idea to pay for chores or grades? How do you help your child develop a work ethic? How do you structure an allowance to help your child learn to make choices? Why is involving your children in charity so important? Eileen and Jon Gallo, experts in the fields of children, psychology and money, provide parents with eight key behaviors that will help them raise financially responsible children:

1. Encourage a work ethic

Work ethic is a learned behavior, and parents are the best models to teach kids to acquire it. If you want your children to work hard and derive meaning and satisfaction from what they do, make sure you are modeling the right messages. Insisting your kids do their homework and help around the house does not guarantee they will grow up with a sense of accountability and a desire to achieve. Developing a work ethic in your child is a holistic process and the eight money behaviors of a financially intelligent parent are keys to this process.

2. Get your own money stories straight

Because you send your children messages about money all the time, it is imperative that both you and your spouse are on the same page when it comes to your money stories. A money story is an open, honest and personal story of your relationship with financial issues, especially as you grew up because most people’s relationship with money developed during childhood. You need to identify why you feel the way you do about money so you can send coherent and consistent messages to your kids. When both parents focus on their money stories, children receive positive messages. Getting your money stories straight does not just mean that you agree on basic issues such as allowances and college savings. It also means that both of you have agreed to identify certain basic money values you want to teach your children, such as giving is good, working hard is its own reward, and you don’t always get everything you want.

3. Facilitate financial reflection

As with most decisions kids make, when it comes to money decisions they are frequently impulsive. As a financially intelligent parent, you want to teach your children how to think in terms of choices, alternatives and consequences. This is called reflective thinking. Learning how to reflect both before and after making a decision is a great life skill, and one that is the hallmark of people who make good choices in everything from careers to relationships to investments. Financially intelligent parents teach their children to evaluate financial consequences based on available choices rather than making impulsive decisions. As a result, children recognize that there are many options available and they acquire the skill to make good choices.

4. Become a charitable family

By teaching your children that they can do more with money than spend it on themselves, you encourage them to become more compassionate and caring. By participating as a family in volunteer and community activities, you help your children develop empathy and a sense of responsibility to others. Your children will realize they have the power to make life better for others. Because children learn through modeling behavior, you have to do more than write a check to charity. You need to show your children what it means to help others. Modeling charitable behaviors, including volunteerism, can jump start your child’s empathy and desire to help others.

5. Teach financial literacy

Although it is important to teach children how to balance a checkbook and create a budget, to become truly financially literate your children must learn within a context of values and money behaviors. Your children need a combination of concrete examples, their own experiences and financial reflection. If they do not learn to behave responsibly with money as kids, they will have to learn as adults when the cost is much higher. One of the best tools to teach your children financial literacy is an allowance. Approaching allowances in a consistently constructive way allows you to instill decision-making wisdom in your children rather than controlling them. An allowance also helps your children gain a well-balanced perspective about money, encouraging saving, investing and giving, in addition to spending.

6. Awareness of the values you model

Your children are tuned in to your purchasing decisions. The ways you spend your money sends messages to your children about your values and life priorities. Children also notice how you spend your time and your actions can unintentionally send messages you did not intend your children to receive. When you miss opportunities to spend time with your children in order to put in extra hours at work or manage your money, you are sending a message that money is more important than family. Financially intelligent parents are highly conscious of their spending habits, as well as how they balance their work and family time, and the values they communicate.

7. Moderate extreme money tendencies

Extreme money tendencies can evolve into money disorders which cause chaos within your family and send the wrong messages to your children. There are several types of money disorders, ranging from excessive shopping to racking up credit card debt to excessive frugality. Regardless of the disorder, extreme money tendencies cause your children to experience confusion and insecurity in their lives. Financially intelligent parents learn to recognize and moderate extreme money behaviors.

8. Talking about the tough topics

Parents avoid talking about financial topics that make them uncomfortable or that seem too complicated. Although you model good money behaviors in certain ways, unless you compliment these behaviors with good money conversations, you are not being as effective as you could be. Financially intelligent parents recognize teachable times each day that give you and your children the opportunity to talk about financial issues. You should welcome these opportunities, as difficult as they are, to discuss and reflect on financial decisions.

A free-reprint article written by: Eileen Gallo, Ph.D., and Jon Gallo, J.D, © 2005

Reprint Terms

- You can publish this article electronically in publications, websites, and ezines as long as the bylines and hyperlinks are included.
- You are not allowed to use this article in unsolicited
commercial email. This article MUST be distributed via
opt-in email only.
- If you use this article we request that you send a copy or link that contains the article to dsafkow@fiparent.com.

Eileen Gallo, Ph.D., and Jon Gallo, J.D. are experts on children, families and money, and the authors of The Financially Intelligent Parent: 8 Steps to Raising Successful, Generous, Responsible Children (New American Library/Penguin Group). For more financially intelligent parenting tips and tools, visit http://www.FIParent.com.

Share This

Confident Expectation! The feeling of ‘confidence’ is the assurance that your desire IS on its way. And getting to that place where we have no doubt is one reason why there is often a delay in receiving what we know is coming. We need time to work through our doubt.

Once I had attracted the Perfect Condo, the Perfect Realtor and the Perfect Financier I was ready to do the work of negotiating for the purchase of the harborside condo.

I was so in the flow of Source Energy that the negotiations went quickly and smoothly and within 24 hours we were able to agree on the price I wanted to pay.

Now, the final action needed to complete this Real Estate deal, was to sell the downtown condo.

This should have happened quickly. The market was perfect. The downtown condo was in a VERY trendy location of Victoria. It was the ONLY condo for sale in one of the most sought after complexes. It was large, freshly painted and well decorated. We had it priced just right. It received plenty of attention in the media and Open House was well attended. Yet the offers were not forthcoming.

After five weeks, we still did not have one single offer. And we were pushing very close to the date on which we should have been closing. I felt confused. I was doing all that I knew to do to attract the Perfect Buyer. I was maintaining my focus on where I wanted to be rather than on where I actually was. I was following everything I teach to others about Law of Attraction.

Finally, I simply had to admit, “I don’t know what it is that I need to know to complete this manifestation.” My request became: “Universe/God, show me what I need to know, say or do to bring this to completion.”

Within 24 hours I had the answer to my prayer. Way in the back of my mind I was questioning, “Is it really God’s Will that I live in such a luxurious home?” So deeply had my entire religious upbringing ingrained the message into me that luxury was sin, that the message was still vibrating within me, causing the sale of my downtown condo to be delayed.

But what can a person do about such an old “tape” embedded that way into our psyche? Well, my next request was: “Show me the Truth that I need to know so this ‘tape’ will no longer have effect.” Again, within 24 hours I had the answer to my prayer.

That night I listened to a cassette tape I received from Abraham-Hicks and I learned that wanting God to decide what is good for me is a childish desire for someone else to take responsibility for what manifests in my life. I understood that Truth immediately! I had wanted to blame God if I did not fully receive my desire.

“And the Truth shall set you free!” Indeed. Once I took full responsibility for my choice of where I wanted to live, the downtown condo sold quickly and with a short extension on the closing date ALL parties were happy.

What do you need to know, say or do to have the Confident Expectation that you will indeed have what you want? Do you have a secret dream, desire or hope?

Contact Rebecca, Toll Free at 866.479.1949 to learn how YOU can live your dream!

Rebecca is leading a training course for Coaches, Therapists, Nurses and other Professionals who are ready to make a paradigm shift within themselves (a change from one way of thinking to another) to better serve their clients or patients.

http://www.youcanhaveitall.com

Share This

Well, that’s a good question and continues to be a dilemma for most parents. As a parent you want to help your adult child, but you want your child to become independent of you in most cases! You want your adult child to spread their wings and find their own space! But, sometimes that may be more difficult in our present day due to the high cost of housing. It may take your adult child more time to save up for their first apartment or home. Especially if they just finished college and may have student loans that they will need to pay back. So, you really want to help your adult child by letting them live with you, but, you want them not to become dependant upon you if you help them. Here are some tips and information you may want to consider when thinking about letting your adult child live with you:

1) Consider charging your adult child rent while they are staying with you once they have secured a job. This will teach your adult child responsibility and how to manage their personal finances. They’ll need this experience in the future when they have their own apartment or home.

2) If you don’t want to charge your adult child rent or don’t believe their financially able to pay rent, consider having them pay part or all of a utility bill which would include the electric, gas or cable bill.

3) If your adult child wants to use your telephone, make sure they have their own telephone line or cell phone that they are responsible for paying the bill. This will eliminate future headaches for you later, if your phone bill increases to an astronomical amount, due to your adult child living in your home.

4) Consider having your adult child purchase their own food or contribute to the purchase. You may find that your food bill may increase substantially when your adult child moves in. So, in order to alleviate problems with the potential added cost, have your adult child contribute to the cost or get their own food. Remember you’re trying to teach them responsibility and how to manage their own personal finances. So this is a way to do this!

5) Set ground rules for your adult child prior to them moving into your home. Remember, the bottom line is, this is your home and you want to be comfortable while you adult child is living with you. Make sure you make clear whether or not your adult child can have a boyfriend or girlfriend stay overnight in your home, responsibility for certain household chores and any additional ground rules you will want to discuss with your adult child. This will hopefully alleviate problems in the future!

6) You may want to consider setting a time frame for how long your adult child can live with you. That is if you want them to eventually get out on their own and become self sufficient. By doing this, your adult child will continue to learn responsibility and full independence by getting a place of their own!

It’s okay to help your adult child by letting them live with you. However, you don’t want them to be dependant on you forever! You want them to get themselves financially secure to become self sufficient and an independent adult, being able to take care of themselves in their own place! After all, you’ve raised them to carry their own torch so they can be prepared when you’re no longer able to help them!

Nocita Carter is a writer and web designer that creates websites providing informative tips on various subject matter including personal finance tips on your personal finances at http://www.personal-finance-tips-for-you.com ; dating tips at http://www.mydating-tips.com and your choice of ebooks at http://www.ebook-corner-for-you.com

Share This